Today Lindsay (my BFF) and I were texting back and forth while simultaneously watching MTV's daily one-hour block of True Life (a tradition spanning several years) and the following exchanges occurred:
Oh P.S. - The first episode was "True Life: I'm a Fanboy" and the second was "True Life: I'm Ex-Amish."
BFF: omg wtf THIS kid has a gf!? ["this kid" being the wannabe low-budget horror filmmaker]
Me: lollll i am just as surprised as you
BFF: awww awk nerdlove [sent when the two Power Rangers geeks went shopping together and shared a cute-but-cringeworthy moment]
Me: HEY! nerdlove is beautiful
BFF: this is SO WEIRD [sent when the wannabe low-budget horror filmmaker debuted his short film about a person who wakes up in the middle of the night only to find that Freddy Kreuger has possessed his penis]
Me: i'm afraid. mama? are you there, mama?
BFF: [just before the ex-Amish True Life starts] yesss i don't think ive seen this one. i was confusing it with that other documentary we saw i think.
Me: ohhh yeahhh. man, you know you're weird when you don't know which amish-based thing you're about to watch cause you've seen too many.
BFF: hahahaha oh mannn, and i made fun of the fanboys??
Me: [upon discovering that the Amish speak a different language sometimes] whattt is this language! this is new to me!
BFF: oh it's like german. i forget actually if it's regular german or an amish version. but yeah.
Me: oh man that didn't sound german at all! but i guess he wasn't using very german pronunciation
BFF: right yeah i'm sure it's been modified over the years. i know bc i read those religious romances written about amish people
Me: WHAT OMG I NEVER KNEW THAT ABOUT YOU dude i'm gonna call VH-1 right now and you can be their amish enthusiast for "i love the pennsylvania dutch"
BFF: shut uppp lollll
Best friends. You can learn everything there is to know about their ways in a month, and after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.
Okay, that may or may not be a quote from LOTR that Gandalf says about Hobbits. But I still think it applies. I never ever ever knew that my best friend had an Amish romance fetish. And now I do. I think I need to go sit down.
