I'm feeling much better about life now that I've dropped the piss-poor attitude that resulted in my last post. I feel like everyone has a right to occasionally lose all perspective and indulge in straight-up wallowing, but I'm reading it back over and feeling kind of silly for writing all that stuff about how I am not a unique snowflake and how I'm lazy and bad at video games. That's not really a fair representation of my life right now.
I need to snap out of feeling like I failed. So I lost direction in college and failed a couple classes. Shit happens. So I'm just now figuring out what I want to do with my life. Well, at least I'm taking steps to have the life I want. So I live at home and haven't started earning a salary yet. So what? Who says you have to be financially independent by 23? By 25? I'm the only one who's been putting pressure on myself to move along faster than I have the means to move.
My parents are insane for letting me live with them for as long as I need to, but they've insisted on it so I'm not going to argue with that. In the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to create an adult life. I've set my sights on my career path and I'm speeding off in that direction. I have a job I love and a cool boyfriend and my best friends are awesome and I get to live with my hilarious sister. And that's a lot.
These are the things I have to remember when I'm feeling inadequate. This needs to be my manifesto for the times I feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile in these past 23 years. Because while my life might not be remarkable, it's not forgettable. Instead of feeling like shit for having a boring life right now, I should remind myself that this is just the part where I lay the foundation for the outrageously awesome life I'm going to have soon.
And the rest is just perseverance and patience.
