risky business

Oh, my friends. Oh, my friends.

Here's the gist of what happened last week:

My parents went away for four days, foolishly leaving me, a frustrated and bored  23-year-old, alone in the house.

You can bet your bottom dollar that I threw a party.

So here I am, recovering from a hectic four-day extravaganza, definitely wanting to share it with you -- and, of course, I have no pictures. But to be honest, I think the pictures would sort of lie. It'd lend a sort of timeline to the whole experience, a deceptively neat-and-tidy visual representation of what, at some points, felt like a huge clusterfuck.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Where do I even start?

I guess the first thing you need to know is that my parents' three-story home in the South Jersey suburbs became a boarding house from Thursday to Sunday -- some people, like the BFF and Matt, stayed all four days, some, like April and Dru, stayed just one night. But either way I don't think I really realized how intense and exhausting it was going to be.

Everything culminated in a boozy party on Saturday night, which I was hoping would be raucous and full of debauchery, but it was actually pretty tame, and I'm glad that it was, because I had enough of a mess to clean up on Sunday morning without having to mop up vomit. I mean, people got drunk. I'd say that many were buzzed and some were inebriated, but no one was trashed. I certainly wasn't. I was too stressed out about whether people were having fun, or whether we had enough food to go around, to do more than nurse my drink.

When the night was over my mind was buzzing and I felt pretty insecure about how much of a success the whole endeavor had been. I'm still sort of on the fence about it.

Some parts were fabulous like,

1. the mornings -- when Matt and I stayed in bed chatting and flirting before we'd go downstairs and make breakfast for everyone.
2. doing party prep with the BFF  -- baking/icing cupcakes, juicing a million lemons and limes for the atrociously bad margaritas, throwing on makeup at the last minute before everyone got there -- it's a little taste of what it would have been like to be roommates.
3. when my sister semi-ironically iced Matt by hiding a Smirnoff Ice in an oven mitt and basically forcing him to look inside.
4. Sunday morning, when me, Matt, my sister, her friend, the BFF, April, and Dru all miraculously woke up around the same time and proceeded to spend the next four hours lounging around, eating bagels, and watching 16 and Pregnant. 

And some parts were decidedly unfabulous, like 

1. when I got woken up in the middle of the night because my sister's friend thought she was having a medical emergency. It freaked me right the hell out for about 11 seconds before Matt jumped in and defused the situation much better than I would have.
2. when I realized that I didn't have any idea where I would hide the trash and empty bottles, which resulted in me and Matt fighting over whether or not he should have to drive around my town and find a dumpster to hide them in.
3. the moment that I suddenly remembered that I'd completely forgotten that I was supposed to register for Spring 2011 classes this weekend. I was so upset that it almost ruined my whole weekend.  

But we didn't have to go to the ER (thank god, because not a single adult that stayed in the house this past week has health insurance). And I didn't have to make Matt go on a dumpster-hunt, because we figured out a legal (well, more legal) solution to the problem. And it turns out that registration started late Sunday night, so I hadn't even missed it at all, and I was able to get into all the classes I wanted to get into. And although I was still cleaning the house right up until my parents came home today at 5:45 PM, I managed to get the house back in working order. 

I don't want to jinx anything yet (my parents have only been home for a couple of hours, so it's too soon to tell), but I think I might have pulled this off. I'm exhausted and I'm going to sleep for the entire day tomorrow, but I think I pulled this off.

Freakin' sweet.

'tis the season for terrifying luminaries

Time for another listy-type weekend update! You know you love these. Don't lie.

Friday:
Fancy steakhouse dinner with Matt
Final installment of Incredibly Depressing Movie Night (we watched Requiem for a Dream and then I cried hysterically, so we agreed to stop watching Incredibly Depressing Movies for a little while.)

Saturday:
Work. Meh.
Out to dinner at this Lebanese restaurant we like
Drank a salted caramel mocha at Starbucks and had a facial tic for the rest of the night.
Sudden burst of productivity due to caffeine rush. Cleaned Huxley the hedgehog's cage SO HARD.

Sunday:
Pumpkin picking hayride at Springdale Farms. It was awesome, but I have no pictures because I forgot to put my memory card back into my camera! Sad face.
Unsuccessful Reaver costume hunt that ended in frustration. Came back home and promptly went on an eBay buying spree. Now 3/4 of my costume is on its way to my house via expedited shipping. Pictures when they arrive!
Pumpkin carving with Matt!

First, Matt cut open and cleaned out the pumpkins. AKA the hard, less fun part. Thanks Matt!

Always such a good sport. Also, sigh. So dreamy. 

Next, I applied the pattern. 

Err. I kind of lost patience with it after a while and just Scotch-taped it into submission. 

Then I used a dangerous little spiky wheel to trace the pattern onto the pumpkin:

This was kind of annoying. But also kind of ingenious.

Then I sprained my wrist and forearm muscles by using a tiny little knife to saw through the pumpkin's very touch and thick skin.

Please ignore my disgusting cuticles. I have never been known for having healthy nail beds.

I might look happy here, but on second glance you will notice that I have THE CRAZY EYES because of how frustrated I am with the dumb little saw.

And then I broke it. Oooops.

Meanwhile, Matt, who has much more upper body strength than I do, had already finished his pumpkin.

I like it! 

And here's mine, halfway through the carving process:

BOO! A GHOST!

So it took a lot of physical labor, but I eventually finished... and you know what? I think it was worth the frustration, maybe even worth the soreness in my right arm today! They look pretty damn cool. Check it:

Yay! Terrifying luminaries depicting faces squealing in agony and spirits from the beyond!

Then there was the small matter of what to do with all this:

Pie was out because Just No, and I felt bad throwing it all out, so I decided to roast some pepitas, yo!

Wash the seeds in a colander and pull out any pulp, then spread 'em out on a baking sheet and let them dry for a couple hours (overnight is best, but whatevs).

Then add a bunch of olive oil, sprinkle with whatever seasonings you want (I did Lawry's seasoned salt and a 1/4 teaspoon of curry powder) and mix around until it's all coated. Then roast at 250 degrees for an hour. 

Then eat them all in one sitting.

OM NOM NOM.

How was your weekend?

keepin' it low key, keepin' it funky

Nice, lazy weekend. Matt was at his friend's bachelor party, cavorting in Atlantic City, so I kept things low-key and had an Incredibly Depressing Movie night. Check it:

Well, Doctor Who isn't incredibly depressing. I just happened to pick that up at the library with the other two.

Precious is one of those cases where I think I actually liked the movie better than the book. They're both incredibly upsetting, but the movie does a better job of making you feel like there's hope for the world despite the fact that incest and illiteracy and domestic abuse exist. 

I didn't know what to expect with The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I was familiar with the title because people at the library can't get enough of the book, but no one at the library seems interested in the movie. Maybe because it's a Swedish movie with English subtitles (though a Hollywood remake is in production - bleh). Maybe not. But enough people had told me that the movie was amazing that I just had to know what the fuss was all about. And I don't mind foreign-language films at all, so when I saw it on the New DVD shelf at work, I just grabbed it on impulse.

Anyway, I'm glad I picked it up on a whim, because I really loved it and I may or may not have watched it again with Matt on Sunday. We spent most of the movie either cringing or shouting "WHY ARE THEY RE-MAKING THIS?" in indignant tones. 

In between the two movies I took an e-mail and Facebook break and I was very excited to see an e-mail from Tawni (from Forever Design Studio) in my inbox! She started working on my new design over the weekend, so she sent me what she'd done so far -- and I have to say, it's looking AWESOME. I don't want to ruin the big reveal, and I hope Tawni doesn't mind that I'm leaking classified material, but here's a peep-show preview of what's in store:

 

AWESOME.

Your turn -- how was your weekend? 

back in the saddle

Urghh... I've been away from the Internet for exactly a week, and there are currently 44, count'em 44 unread blog posts in my Google reader right now. I'm going to work on chipping away at that unreal number until 12:45, when I have to go to work. But for now, here's my week in a nutshell.

- My sister graduated high school. She gave a speech. And I was like, MY BABY'S ALL GROWN UP AND SAVING CHINA!

- I went to see Toy Story 3, which we all know is officially The Greatest Movie Ever Made (no seriously, I don't know if there have been any negative reviews of it except for these two douchebags). The experience was so uniquely Pixar. Half of the time I was laughing unabashedly and obnoxiously. The other half of the time I was a whimpering, moist-eyed mess (I don't let myself cry in movie theaters anymore because I cause a real scene). Those of you who have seen it can probably relate. I had to think about all sorts of inappropriately hilarious things and fan my face vigorously to keep myself from bursting into tears.

- Remember when I got all excited about finding people to play D&D with? Well, on Saturday we started creating our characters and we had maybe a little too much fun with it. Matt's character is an eladrin wizard who wears a prosthetic beard loaded with razor blades (because eladrin can't grow beards, what's up with that?), Jewel's character is an elf ranger with "ginormous knockers," and my character is a halfling rogue with a Napoleon complex. Also, that was officially the nerdiest sentence I have ever typed. Scotty gets off a little too much on being Dungeon Master, I think, as he kept on saying things like GOD DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD CHOOSE YOUR AT-WILL POWERS YET, DID HE? I think we may have created a monster.

- We celebrated Father's Day lounging around the house, doing nothing, as per my dad's request. He wanted Father's Day to be about conserving money and resources, and so we didn't go out to eat or go shopping or anything like that. We all just went about our normal Sunday, which for me meant attempting to clean my room but then just falling asleep for several hours instead.

- I have successfully made it through another week of being incidentally vegan, and I've learned one very important thing:

my cautionary tale

On Friday night, Scotty, Jewel, Matt and I made a grave mistake: we saw Splice. Now, I know I'm kind of an exaggerator, but trust me -- this movie was tragically, painfully bad. To this minute, I can't stop thinking about how confusing, awkward, pointless, cringe-worthy, traumatizing, and poorly written it was. And this is coming from a genuine horror fan who can typically suspend her disbelief for almost anything.

If you were planning on seeing it, I have three words for you: interspecies sex scene. Unless you have a burning desire to find out what I mean by that, please, please, please PLEASE do not spend your hard-earned money to see Splice. Do not be deceived by its inexplicably high score on IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes.

The only positive thing to come out of this experience is that it became the most amazing in-joke of the weekend. We're thinking that this could be a totally epic real-life version of Rickrolling, wherein we tell all of our friends that Splice is the best movie of the summer so far and to go see it immediately, and then laugh the Dr. Evil laugh when we see them again and they're like "DUDE YOU STOLE TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE AND I'LL NEVER GET THEM BACK WHYYY" (But since you guys are awesome, I'm telling you the truth. You shall be spared the torture!)

I'm not going to lie, I'm practicing the laugh as I type this. Moohoohahaha ha HA HA HAAAAA.

Prom: a comparative study

My sister's dress:

Grecian-influenced, a lovely color, figure-flattering -- shit, dye it white and I'd wear this now as a wedding gown. I'm so insanely jealous that this picture is how my sister gets to remember her prom. 

On the other hand:

OK, first: CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SCHOOL BUS. My prom group wanted to be "different" and also cheap (we had 12 couples) so they hired a big yellow bus to drop us off at prom. I don't want to talk about it.

Second: the more I look at this picture, the more I dislike my dress. There's nothing particularly offensive about it, I guess, it's just "meh." Plus, it pinches my under-arm flab and makes me look stumpy. Its purchase was the result of a harrowing day of unsuccessful dress shopping. When you've tried on dozens of dresses and all of them look terrible, you'll settle for anything. Even a $14.99 dress from the clearance rack.

My sister's hair and makeup:

She got her hair done by my stylist Jen, who is a genius. I love that it's soft and not over-styled and yet it's formal enough for a special occasion. Her makeup looks really natural and blended, her eye makeup opens her eyes up like crazy, and the colors are awesome for her complexion. And I swear I'm not just saying all that because I did her makeup :P

On the other hand:

Clown City. What is UP with lip liner? I don't even want to talk about the eye makeup. As you can see, my best friend is suffering from a similar problem (we got our makeup done at the same place), but she looks a little better. My hair is just pathetic. The woman took one look at my short haircut and basically gave up. Then she was like, here, I'll curl it and pin your bangs up. And I was like ARE YOU SERIOUS. THIS IS WHAT MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE EVERY DAY. 

Also, the matchy-matchy choker necklace was such. A bad. Idea. 

(Also: ugh, the UNDER ARM FLAB. Why didn't anyone tell me about that when I showed them my dress?!

My sister's experience

As far as I can tell, she had a pretty good time. They played all of her favorite songs and she got to dance around like a crazy person with her friends and the food was awesome. Her texts from the afterparty weekend down the shore ranged from pleased to giddy. She came home content, with a hoarse voice from all the talking, laughing, and singing. I'm sure it wasn't the best weekend of her life, but it seemed like she hadn't really expected anything but a moderately good time anyway, so she wasn't disappointed.

On the other hand:

I had never been to a formal dance before, and the only exposure I'd had to prom was what I saw in She's All That and Ten Things I Hate About You and Pretty in Pink. Naturally, it seemed to me that prom was supposed to be this magical night where anything was possible, where latent romances bloom and friendships are defined. I expected nothing short of the best time of my life. 

What I got was a group of catty girls who wouldn't compliment one another, a date who was a dud, a shitty DJ (not that any of my friends would dance, anyway), an early departure (we left after 2 1/2 hours) and a rainy weekend down the shore. It was kind of the exact opposite of a magical night where anything was possible. Sure, we were a coed group of eighteen teenagers living in an unsupervised shore house for the weekend, and that fact alone should have created some kind of uncontrollable vortex of drama. But nothing happened. Nobody hooked up, nobody had any heart-to-hearts, there wasn't a wild, debaucherous party, and there was nary a poignant moment to be had. The weekend was at its best, ordinary, and at its worst, completely and mind-numbingly boring. We wouldn't have made a very good episode of True Life: I'm Going To Prom, is what I'm saying.

But now it's just part of the past. I even feel like it shaped me, in some small way, by showing me that sometimes our expectations prove to be to much to live up to, and that it's always better to focus on your friends rather than Boy Stuff. It's one of the times in my life that I look back on with equal parts bitterness and nostalgia, if I look back on it at all. But seeing my sister pose with her friends and pin a boutonnière to her date's lapel and ascend, smiling, up the stairs of the limo bus brought all of the memories flooding back, good and bad. It was a fitting start to a weekend that had me looking back on a lot of good times, and looking forward to making more.

don't stop me now: the best weekend ever

This is K. She took every single picture you will see in this blog post today. Mine sucked and hers are gorgeous, and plagiarism is for chumps, so I just wanted to give her credit.

Part the First: My best friend graduates. She throws a party. It rocks.

 

Me and my friend Dru (not her real name, but she'd approve) Top Modeling it up. Note how Dru actually knows how to pose for pictures where as I can only flail about like a fish on the shore.

The scene: picturesque South Jersey backyard.

A freakishly normal picture of my sister and Matt.

An impromptu campfire for impromptu s'mores.

Me and my best friends of seven years. So much love here.

Part the Second: We go to Scotty and Jewel's wedding and we all look so freaking good. Seriously.

Centerpieces, three of which I now have in my house. 

That handsome Scotsman my friends and I are standing with is LW (stands for Legitimate Wizard, and honestly I don't know if he'd approve of that name). All of the groomsmen wore kilts to reflect Scotty's heritage, but LW is especially legit in his because he's from Glasgow. 

Also, LW does card tricks and for the life of me I couldn't figure them out. The only explanation is that he is Actually Magic (hence the name). Shortly after this picture was taken, he turned that 2 of spades into an ace.

Believe it or not, this cake tasted even better than it looks.

This band completely changed my perspective on the whole band-vs.-DJ thing. They were so, so badass.

Me, Matt, Scotty and Jewel, aka the best-looking geeks in the Tri-State area. Seriously.

Part the Third: The weekend continues at the afterparty and at the afterparty to the afterparty, but I didn't take any pictures because sometimes you want to live life and enjoy the moment without pressuring yourself to document it. 

la la life is wonderful

[image source: http://tinyurl.com/2ayfw8k]

This weekend was fucking epic. It was a maelstrom of activity, the center of which was the beautiful wedding of my friends Scotty and Jewel. Currently, I'm catching up on my reader, then uploading pictures, then writing emails to/posting on the walls of/answering texts from the new friends I made and the old ones I caught up with and the current ones that I love more than ever right now. 

I'll post about it later, after I recover. But this is just to say: Hey, guys! It's been a crazy couple of days, but watching your blog posts rack up in my reader made me smile. Guess what? I made a friend who can do card tricks that are so impressive that I'm pretty much convinced that he's a wizard. How was your Memorial Day weekend? 

insane in the membrane: the story of my weekend

This weekend Matt and I descended upon Lambertville, NJ, a small, historic town near our alma mater that is known for its art community, antique shops, and all-around quaintness. It's the kind of place that I guess people go to retire. Honestly, after spending the weekend, now I kind of want to live there when I retire. It was awesome, is what I'm saying.

Some of the highlights of the trip:

• The FOOD, OMG. We just picked restaurants at random but we happened to end up at the best places in town. And the breakfast our B&B served was insane in the membrane. Warm scones with blueberry preserves, fresh fruit from the farmer's market, and blueberry-cornmeal pancakes from scratch. I nearly died.
• Touring River Horse Brewery and facepalming (in amusement) when Matt insisted on asking the geekiest questions like "What sanitizer do you use on  the bottles?" and "What kind of machine you use to flash-chill the beer?"
• Stumbling upon a secret room in an otherwise typical curio/antique shop that was literally jam-packed with pop culture memorabilia, records, action figures, old magazines (from Tiger Beat to Rolling Stone), pulp fiction books, and kitschy toys. Matt, who is a collector of classic rock LPs, found original presses of Are You Experienced by The Jimi Hendrix Experience AND Aqualung by Jethro Tull and he bought them both for FOURTEEN DOLLARS. 
• The fact that the B&B had A Mighty Wind in their DVD collection. It was slightly less exciting when the DVD crapped out just before all the good stuff happens, but still. It's the concept. 
• Discovering that I fucking love B&Bs and I don't care who knows it. All I can say is that instead of being worried that it would be lame and annoying and I'd have to make chit-chat with pretentious Princeton retirees [note: I actually did have to do that, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be], I should have been more concerned with the monster that a B&B would unleash in me. As soon as we got to the house and dropped off our bags I dragged Matt downstairs into the common area for way longer than necessary in the hopes that we would run into the owner again or come across another couple. So, yeah -- the B&B experiment went, like, outlandishly well.  

And now. Pictures.

Here's the pop culture room I mentioned before. I seriously had to catch my breath when I first walked into this room. It's like Geek Heaven.

This is Peddler's Village, where Matt and I had dinner and window shopped. I took this picture while he was buying us some ice cream. 

Our room. It was way bigger than it looks and so cozy. That bed was the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in. I have to admit, though, when I saw the flowered wallpaper I had a bit of a moment from the episode of Gilmore Girls I talked about last time. You GG fans know what I'm talking about. And no, there wasn't actually any foil in the paper.

I just needed you to know that our toilet paper looked like this when we got to our room. This is the level of service we received, people.

I can't believe I'm even posting this, but I just wanted to show you how Matt has this uncanny ability to ruin pictures of us. 

See?

And of course, the obligatory food picture. This is Matt's order of Chocolate-Banana Coconut French Toast. I bet you can guess what happened approximately 1 minute later.

Gone.

memes and mommies

I just discovered Sunday Stealing, which is a meme made up of only "stolen" memes that they collect from all over the blogosphere. It's very meta. I think. Sometimes I'm not quite sure I know exactly what "meta" means. But anyway. Let's DO this.

1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? 

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

When I was younger, it was definitely Clarissa's room in Clarissa Explains it All. Now I just want to live in Lorelai and Rory Gilmore's house. And I want a town troubadour and the Bracebridge dinner and Luke's diner too. Is that so much to ask?

3. What's the longest you've gone without sleep?

Hm. I'm thinking of a specific occasion (but that's another blog post) and I think it was like, 25 hours or something. And all I remember is feeling like walking death.

4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song?

OH MANDY WELL YOU CAME AND YOU GAVE WITHOUT TAAAKING

5. Who's your favorite Muppet?

Beaker!

6. What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?
Up until a fairly advanced age, I used to eat my own boogers. Yeah. Really, really glad I stopped doing that.

7. What's your favorite website?

According to my browser's history, it's Cracked.com. I would agree.

8. What's your favorite school supply?

Highlighters!

9. Who's your favorite TV attorney?

Marshall!

10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
I drove up to my friend's apartment in Astoria, NY to perform some Broken Heart First Aid. It was a hard weekend -- but worth it. Incidentally, that also marks the first time I extensively worked on a Mac and realized they weren't Enigmatic Mystery Machines.

11. What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or junk shop?
Wow, I don't know if I've ever been to a garage sale or a junk shop. I guess the closest thing is that once, I found an amazing chartreuse lounge chair at a Goodwill for like $50, but... I didn't have the money or any reason whatsoever to buy it. Sigh.

12. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
I was in 9th grade at the time, so I was at school. I hate to say that it wasn't that hard of a day for me -- I was only 14 and although I could tell that it was very bad (my teachers were crying and many people went home) I didn't quite understand what was going on until I came home to an empty house and  saw all of the footage on the news. Then my sister, 9 years old at the time, got back and I couldn't believe how happy I was to see her alive and I told her what happened and we just hugged and cried until my mom came home. God. Not a great time.

13. What's your favorite tree?

Weeping Cherry. We used to have one of these in my backyard and I spent a lot of summer days leaned up against it reading. Then my dad chopped it down. Oooh, I'm still sore about that. 

14. What's the most interesting biography you've read?
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (or at least, that's the one that stands out the most right now).

15. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
Chinese isn't usually my first choice, but sometimes I get wicked cravings for sesame chicken.

16. What's the best costume you've ever worn?

Asian Juno!

17. What's your least favorite word?
"Clumpy." Augh. Ew. Gross. Blech. Gag.

18. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
Alaska. Because of the John Green book, not because of any particular allegiances or affiliations. Cough.

19. What's your favorite bear?
Ummm. Gummi.

20. Describe something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Ok, let's see if I can explain this. Once my friends and I were walking the Ocean City, NJ boardwalk and another group of girls were walking towards us. As we crossed paths, one of the girls ran into my friend Karen, hysterically screamed at her like she had just seen a ghost, and then ran away. We have NO IDEA why. We don't think it was a prank or a dare, since it's not even like she and her friends subsequently pointed and laughed in that "I-can't-believe-you-just-DID-that" way. It was totally bizarre.

21. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be?

Marrakesh, please!

22. What did you have for lunch yesterday?
A large #1 meal at Chick-Fil-A. That's the chicken sandwich, for those of you who aren't tragically addicted to Crack-Fil-A like me.

23. Where do you go for advice?
My cousin Abbey, my parents, my friends, my sister, and occasionally the Internet.

24. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?

Thesaurus!

25. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving?
Snorkeling, yes -- on a tropical island in the Philippines, no less! It was THE BOMB. I've never been scuba diving, but I am dying to learn.

Okay -- last thing is a quick weekend update: 

• I came a little bit closer to making a decision vis-a-vis the Mac vs. PC thing. Thank you for your comments/input!
• I went and saw Iron Man 2 and thoroughly enjoyed it, and now I'm all fangirl squee-ing over the potential Avengers movie that Joss Whedon is allegedly maybe possibly rumored to be directing GAH.
• I celebrated Mother's Day with... my mom. And my sister. We went shopping and helped her pick out an awesome purple dress for my cousin's July wedding. Hooray for my mommy. And your mommy. Mommies in general, really. 

What about you? Did you (and/or your mom) have a kick-ass weekend?