my cautionary tale

On Friday night, Scotty, Jewel, Matt and I made a grave mistake: we saw Splice. Now, I know I'm kind of an exaggerator, but trust me -- this movie was tragically, painfully bad. To this minute, I can't stop thinking about how confusing, awkward, pointless, cringe-worthy, traumatizing, and poorly written it was. And this is coming from a genuine horror fan who can typically suspend her disbelief for almost anything.

If you were planning on seeing it, I have three words for you: interspecies sex scene. Unless you have a burning desire to find out what I mean by that, please, please, please PLEASE do not spend your hard-earned money to see Splice. Do not be deceived by its inexplicably high score on IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes.

The only positive thing to come out of this experience is that it became the most amazing in-joke of the weekend. We're thinking that this could be a totally epic real-life version of Rickrolling, wherein we tell all of our friends that Splice is the best movie of the summer so far and to go see it immediately, and then laugh the Dr. Evil laugh when we see them again and they're like "DUDE YOU STOLE TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE AND I'LL NEVER GET THEM BACK WHYYY" (But since you guys are awesome, I'm telling you the truth. You shall be spared the torture!)

I'm not going to lie, I'm practicing the laugh as I type this. Moohoohahaha ha HA HA HAAAAA.