my life in labels: librarian training

I know I have 3 memes/awards to work on, but I feel compelled to write an actual post about my life before I tackle all of that. So.

MY LIFE. It can be roughly broken up into four categories:

LIBRARIAN TRAINING
REDUCING MY MASS
ROLLIN' WITH THE HOMIES
MUSHY KISSING STUFF

Sometimes there are more, of course, depending on the seasons. And of course the categories bleed into one another -- life can't be neatly compartmentalized, I don't really have that mindset -- but those are truly my four biggest priorities at the moment. So, do you want to know what's happening? Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn't still be reading. Now, this is a lot, so we'll start with the first category:

LIBRARIAN TRAINING. 

For those of you who are new: I want to be a librarian for children and teens. I'm literally obsessed with it -- I have never been this determined to reach a goal in my life. So I'm in graduate school for my Master's in Library and Information Science, and I've been working as a Youth Services Assistant in my local library for the past year and a half. This week though, I had kind of a huge breakthrough that I really want to share with you guys.

This year, I'm running the library's teen creative writing club. We got snowed out of our first two meetings of the year, and though I acted frustrated when I had to cancel, I have to say I was profoundly relieved. Both times I was insanely nervous -- not looking forward to it at all. Part of it was that I felt kind of unprepared and clueless (I'd run teen programs before, but never on my own!), but on a whole different level, all of these latent bad memories from my disastrous student teaching experience in college were rising to the surface. Remember how you choked? this insidious version of myself was whispering to me in my head. They must have thought you were such a joke. Maybe you just don't give off the right vibe for teens. The worrying grew louder and louder for two weeks.... up until yesterday.

Yesterday there was no snow. I couldn't hide anymore. I came to work knowing that we would be meeting no matter what, so I had better get comfy with the idea. And so my nerves sort of dissipated, or translated into nervous energy. The whole afternoon I couldn't stop neurotically looking over my agenda feeling unsatisfied with what I'd decided on. I changed my mind on my icebreaker activity about 4 times, changed the warm-up, frantically photocopied passages from books and organized all of the materials into neat little piles, to be distributed to each teen.

Before I knew it, 6:00 had rolled around and I was standing in the craft room, making small talk with Sarah, the first person to show up.

It's funny how most of the time, it's the anticipation that shuts you down. It's like a roller coaster -- that slow, creaky, uphill climb is when you panic, when you shout "I WANT TO GO BACK," when you seriously begin to doubt your judgment. But then you're rushing towards the ground and the wind is in your hair, and you don't stop to think "I WANT TO GO BACK" -- you're in it, baby!

For me, those two weeks were the uphill climb in a roller coaster car. I doubted myself and I told myself it wasn't too late to quit. But as soon as we sat down to begin the meeting, all of my nerves turned into pure adrenaline -- the good kind of adrenaline that allows you to think on your feet and say all the right things. 

(By the way, that adrenaline rush never happened to me when I was student teaching. Once we started my nerves would just get worse and worse and wouldn't relent until the class period was over.)

It didn't go off without a hitch; the icebreaker took up almost the entire hour and we barely got to the writing warm-up and prompt. But the teens were engaged, laughing, enjoying themselves. They had come to something I had put together and they were enjoying themselves.

I didn't realize until I was was cleaning up that I hadn't stopped smiling since the meeting began. I stopped and  tried to digest what had just happened. I planned, organized, and ran my own library program for teens. I got paid to hang out and talk about Lord of the Rings with a bunch of interesting young people.

And I was going to get to do it again in two weeks.

Best of all, I knew with utmost certainty that this is where I want my life to go. That I'd finally translated my interests into a viable career option  -- second time's the charm, I guess.

So, now I'm sure. I just have to get the qualifications, even if it kills me in the process. But grad school -- that is another post entirely.

to start: a survey

Let's get things started the right way.

It's meme time, bitches.

I saw this survey on Angie's blog and found the questions quite thought-provoking -- I will tag one or two people at the end, but feel free to steal it and post it if you want.

And now. A Random Survey of Randomness.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or as members of your family?
I have two pets. There's our family dog, Hickory:

He's such a sweet pup! OK, he's not really a pup (he's 11 years old) but he still acts like he's one. Hickory is definitely like a member of our family -- he eats meals with us, sleeps upstairs with us, gets birthday presents, sits for our annual family Christmas portrait. The only thing we do without Hickory is vacation, but we leave him at home and have one of our friends come play with him and feed him every day, so it's kind of like a vacation for him too, let's be honest.

Aaaand there's my hedgehog, Huxley, aka Mr. Hux-a-lux/Cliff Huxtable/Super Hux:

If Oscar the Grouch and Eeyore the Donkey had a prickly love child, it'd be Huxley. He keeps to himself and seems generally distrustful of people, even those who are nice to him and feed him worms! 

2. If you could see one of your dreams come true, which would it be?
Lately my pipe dreams revolve around winning millions in the lottery, dropping out of grad school and just working part-time at the library while pursuing my other interests on the side. But uhhh, I'm pretty sure my chances are something like 1 in 80,000,000. So I think I will stick with my current plan.

3. What is the one thing that you hate the most?
I really, really hate two things: bugs, and poop. But it's no big deal. I make it through life all right. But you should just know that if you're going to try to show me the ladybug you caught, I will shriek and run away. Likewise, if you're going to make a poop joke, just know that I won't laugh and might punch you instead.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Oops... I kind of already answered this question in #2 without realizing it. But I can definitely think of more: I'd pay off Matt's student loans; I'd pay my parents' mortgage; I'd pay my sister's college tuition and set aside $100,000 for the college tuitions of my two future kids; I'd inject tons of money into local libraries; I'd buy an electric car; I'd donate to charities; I'd hire an investor so I could make more money; I'd go to New Zealand and Morocco and Ireland and Japan. I could go on...but I'll spare you :P

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
I'm a very socially oriented person and I usually need to talk myself out of my bad mood with somebody else. Otherwise, I try to take a nap and just sleep it off.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I don't think you can really say that one is more "blessed" than the other. I think that, when it comes to falling in love, you need both parties to be fully present for the magic to happen. If you love someone but they don't reciprocate, it can make you spiral into despair, envy, or rage. If you're not as into someone as they're into you, it can weigh you down with guilt or cause you to be careless with the person's feelings. Either way, no one's as happy as they could be. /lecture

7. What is your bedtime routine?
You know, Stephany just wrote a post about making an effort to improve her nighttime routine, and it inspired me to re-evaluate my bedtime habits, too. I don't really have a good solid "routine" -- I just head upstairs when I get tired, then read until I can't hold the book up anymore, then pass out until the morning. I'm hoping to make a change to a more structured, regular routine. But that's another post.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
Matt and I met at an IHOP. Well, technically, we met when we both took a class called "Early Modern Europe," but it was our professor's split decision to take our class to IHOP right before midterms that brought me and Matt face-to-face for the first time. We ended up sitting across from each other, and then we bonded over Homestar Runner in-jokes, and then he offered to buy me pancakes -- who can resist a Strong Bad-quoting, pancake-buying history nerd? Not me. Anyway we're coming up on four years now and we still love pancakes.

We're awkward and we don't care who knows.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
I love movie-making, so I'd love to shadow a director -- specifically, Joss Whedon. Although I'm sure I'd only hinder his creative process because I'd just be jumping up and down and fangirl-screaming the whole time.

10. What kinds of books do you read?
I spent my whole college career reading Dead White Males and post-modernist poetry, so I have a real appreciation for literature (pronounced "LIT TRA CHA," naturally) but truth be told, the books I enjoy reading the most are comics/graphic novels, Young Adult fiction, dystopian fiction, and memoirs.

12. What’s your biggest fear?
I'll openly admit that I fear death more than anything, and I especially fear losing the people I love through unexpected and sudden circumstances.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
Well, it depends. I love space and I'm waiting not-so-patiently for affordable intergalactic tourism to become a reality. I would gladly train for years and eat only the most healthful foods until the end of time if it earned me a spot on a luxury space cruise liner. But if we're talking, say, a one-shot orbit around the Earth in a cramped space shuttle, no way. I love Kit Kats too much.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Initially I had a problem with this question because I thought it was suggesting that being unmarried or poor is inherently bad, whereas being married or rich is inherently good -- neither statement is really true. But I gave it some thought, and realized that this question (I think) is designed to reveal something about your personal idea of happiness. I think I'd be pretty happy if Matt and I got married, and I'd also be pretty happy if someone suddenly handed me a check for 5 million dollars. I think I could get by without the 5 million, though, as long as I knew I had Matt, my best friends, and my family.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Put my glasses on! I can't see anything without them.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
I'd rid him of his phobia of having his fingernails touched, clipped, or otherwise messed with. It's a lot more annoying than you'd think!

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
I think I've answered this question in a previous meme -- I like my name well enough, but I'd be willing to change it to Keiko. Full disclosure: a classmate in high school used to call me that because I slightly resemble Keiko Agena, the actress who played Lane on Gilmore Girls.

18. Can you forgive and forget, no matter how horrible the offense is?
No. Well, yes, I often forgive people, it's an important part of being a friend. But it's the "no matter how horrible" part that gets me. I have my limits. There are some pretty horrible things out there -- betrayal, deception, sabotage -- and if one of my friends somehow morphed into the kind of person who was capable of doing any of that, I'd drop him or her like a stick of dynamite. Is that crazy of me?

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

[photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pioneerwoman/497215724/]

I hope that this challenge takes place in an imaginary world where I wouldn't get scurvy if I ate the same thing for six months. Well, anyway. This is a no-brainer. I pick the Pioneer Woman's Chicken Spaghetti, this cheesy and rich noodle casserole that I seriously believe is the entire reason that humans were put on this earth. A lot of her other recipes get more publicity, but this one is the unsung hero.

OK, now for the good stuff: Cait and Matt -- tag, you're it!

kiss kiss bang bang! i'm BACK

Hello!

Remember me?

Melissa?

... the author of this blog?

Guess what?

I kicked my first semester of graduate school in the BALLS, and came out on the other end with a 4.0 GPA!

And I've lost almost 10 pounds since this post was written!

And Scotty, Jewel, Matt and I have started a Firefly/Serenity RPG and I'M the Game Master!

And my parents gave me Netflix for Christmas, so I've been watching movies and TV shows nonstop! (Notable mentions: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World [sogoodsogoodsogood], 30 Rock, Skins [the gut-wrenching and addictive UK version, obviously, not the insipid, rip-off US version], 500 Days of Summer, and a documentary about fonts --yes, fonts -- called Helvetica.)

And Matt is finally moving out of his parent's house this weekend! And he's going to be living in a sweet Victorian mansion with 4 other people, and one of them has a KITTEN! MEOWMEOW!

I know we're only a month in, but I can tell that 2011 is going to be Made of Awesome. And I don't want to make the mistake of not chronicling all of this Awesomeness. So, in case you were wondering if this little blog is defunct -- THINK AGAIN, FRIENDS. This is just the beginning.

christmas at my house

CHRISTMAS IS OVER D:

But luckily I think the afterglow of present-getting-and-giving and fun times with family and friends will keep me going for a while :D

My family and I only have a few Christmas traditions, but we always stick to them and the holiday wouldn't feel complete without them:

Tradition #1 - We go to the Christmas Eve vigil at church -- this is partly because I am an employee of the music ministry and I have to provide piano accompaniment for the singers, but I'd probably go anyway. I really like to sing Christmas songs.

Tradition #2 - We have a fancy five-course dinner on Christmas Eve with practically the same menu every year -- French onion soup, cornish hens, ham, and creme brulee for dessert. The only thing that changes up even slightly is the sides and the salad. I guess that sounds like it could be boring, but I always look forward to it, maybe because we literally only have this meal once a year. Another important component of this tradition is that it's always just the family -- no aunts, uncles, cousins, or friends. It's awesomely mellow and honestly, that's how I like my Christmas Eve. I'm not religious at all, but I do like to honor the quiet and stillness of the Christmas vigil, if only because it lets me slow down and reflect on the past year.

Tradition #3 - We turn on A Christmas Story at 8:00 on Christmas Eve and we don't turn it off until we go to bed. Then, the next morning, we turn it back on again as we're eating breakfast and slowly getting ready for the annual family Christmas party. I'm very serious about my dedication to this movie. One year I watched it four times in a row before I got tired of it.

What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

this week is crazypants

I'm neck-deep in end-of-semester grad school assignments over here, which is why I'm not posting much. For the past week or two, I've been slowly and begrudgingly compiling the research for my first graduate-level research paper EVER. Gah. It's due on Sunday and I really should probably already have started writing it, but I'm just so DISTRACTED. Why does the last week of the semester always have to be smack in the middle of the best part of the holiday season? How can they expect me to focus on how teens construct their consumer identities when I could be watching Christmas movies or baking cookies or participating in Reverb 10 or lighting 39 menorahs? (I actually did this. It was 39 kinds of awesome. I'll post pictures next time.) On top of all of that, I got sick for the first time since college and I'm kind of pathetic when I'm sick. I basically revert to my 6-year-old self: helpless and whiny. But I chugged some Theraflu today and I'm hoping to charge through my research so I can get the actual writing part started some time before Sunday.

Needless to say, I'll be a little scarce around these parts until the 19th, when the semester is officially over for me. But I'll be back with a vengeance after that!

See you on the other side :D

P.S. In case any of you were wondering how I did on my first weigh-in of the 10-lb challenge, I'm currently down to

160.0

Four pounds down, six to go! Wahoooooo!

i'm taking back december

You all know from previous blog posts that I have struggled my whole life with losing weight and regulating my eating habits. There's no harder season for me to deal with those things than the holiday season -- from Halloween to New Year's, all bets are basically off. I just say SCREW IT and figure it's impossible to lose weight/stay sane throughout the holidays anyway, so why even bother trying?

Then I stepped on the scale this morning and saw a number that I wasn't really happy to be seeing. Basically I've gained 10 lbs in two weeks. But this isn't even about a number. I feel worse, bloated and tired. I come home from work limping from the strain of carrying the extra weight around all day -- something that I've never experienced before. I'm busting out of all my clothes, guys, and not in a sexy, Pussycat Dolls way.

Then I stumbled upon this -- Fatty's 10-lb Challenge. Here's what it boils down to:

And so, starting today, I am going to spite the Winter Weight Gain god (his friends call him “Melvin”). I am going to use the (nearly) four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas to lose ten pounds, instead of putting on another five.

And I’d like you to join me. The solidarity will help.

I'm not officially signing up, but I will be participating on my own and blogging about it here, because it's important to be accountable when it comes to stuff like this. Here's what the weigh-in schedule looks like:

• November 29/30: Initial weigh-in
• December 6: First week weigh-in
• December 13: Second week weigh-in
• December 20: Third week weigh-in
• December 23: Final weigh-in

So, my initial weigh-in was this morning and the results were pretty disappointing. I'm up to 164.2, a number I haven't seen since May. Unless I want to nudge that weight any higher, the time for change is now.

So how am I going to do it? Along with cutting out all the fast food I've been eating, drinking more water, and eating breakfast, I'm going to be eating mainly grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. I'm also going to dust off my old Pilates DVDs and incorporate 3 core workouts per week, plus at least one trip to the gym per week, for cardio. And so I don't strangle someone when my mom starts making cookies and pies, I'll allow myself one anything-goes meal per week. Based on my previous experiences with this kind of stuff, I anticipate a really big loss of around 3-4 lbs the first week, then a steady loss of around 1.8-2.0 lbs per weigh-in after that. Et voila!  At least 10 lbs gone by Christmas!

OK, it looks easy on paper, but it's a tall order. I've never dieted during the holiday season; in fact, that's usually when I fall off the wagon. But I'm going to try, and if I fail... well, you guys will be the first to know :P

wait for it...

[source]

Happy Thanksgiving, dear readers!

There's snow falling outside (whaaat?) and I'm hunkered down on the couch, flipping between Mythbusters and the Macy's parade, eating a clementine, and generally slacking off until it's time to go to my uncle's house for The Big Family Get Together. 

Hope your day is full of good food and good company, and that you've found yourself with lots to be thankful for this year. See you on the other side :D